It's Been Almost a Year

It has been almost a year since I have written on my blog. I even had to make a new one (with the old posts copied and pasted) because blogger had kicked me out of my first blog. So here I am "Sjogrens Warrior Momma." To say it has been a journey this past year is an understatement. Learning about this disease and how it has affected me has been really hard, and I haven't been on here in almost a year to post because I have been trying to find my new normal. It has been hard, really hard. It took about 8 weeks for the Hydroxychloroquine (my medicine I take twice a day) to kick in, and after that the pain was much better, and felt under control. The hard part has been the constant fatigue. It takes over with everything I do, and my bed has become my place of refuge. I sleep, I sleep a lot. It is hard feeling exhausted and fatigued all the time. It definitely takes a toll, but I am grateful Jake and my boys are supportive and let me rest when I need to. This disease is crazy how it takes over your life. I don't feel like I can do things that I used to be able to do. I feel slow and weak. I don't like feeling that way, but when I exercise it absolutely exhausts me and makes my body ache in pain. It's like I'm darned if I do and I'm darned if I don't. I don't mean to sound like a downer, but it really has been a struggle. I need the support of family and friends. I am in support groups for Sjogrens Syndrome and that has helped a lot. I am able to relate to people who are going through these hard times, and struggle with the same things as me helps me to feel better as well, and not alone. 

Arnett and I have always watched shows together and the latest one we watched together is Hannah Montana. It took a lot of convincing from me to get him to watch it because he said, "It's a girl show!" But I knew if he gave it  try he would like it. Well the other day Miley Cyrus sang "The Climb" and I started to cry. I hadn't heard it in a while, and it really hit home to me. Here are the lyrics:  

I can almost see itThat dream I'm dreamingBut there's a voice inside my head sayingYou'll never reach it
Every step I'm takingEvery move I make feelsLost with no directionMy faith is shaking
But I, I gotta keep tryingGotta keep my head held high
There's always gonna be another mountainI'm always gonna wanna make it moveAlways gonna be an uphill battleSometimes I'm gonna have to loseAin't about how fast I get thereAin't about what's waiting on the other sideIt's the climb
The struggles I'm facingThe chances I'm takingSometimes might knock me down, butNo, I'm not breaking
I may not know itBut these are the moments, thatI'm gonna remember most, yeahJust gotta keep going
And I, I gotta be strongJust keep pushing on, 'cause
There's always gonna be another mountainI'm always gonna wanna make it moveAlways gonna be an uphill battleSometimes I'm gonna have to loseAin't about how fast I get thereAin't about what's waiting on the other sideIt's the climb
Yeah
There's always gonna be another mountainI'm always gonna wanna make it moveAlways gonna be an uphill battleSometimes you're gonna have to loseAin't about how fast I get thereAin't about what's waiting on the other sideIt's the climbYeah, yeah
Keep on moving, keep climbingKeep the faith, babyIt's all about, it's all about the climbKeep your faith, keep your faithWhoa

It just really made me think about what I am going through and that I need to "keep the faith." Stay positive, "I gotta keep trying, gotta keep my head held high." I am trying my best, and I am grateful to have my faith and wonderful people in my corner. I know people are praying for me, and I am so appreciative of that. Thank you if you have read this far. I will try and be strong and keep pushing on. 



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